so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
