In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
