I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
