You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
