it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize