why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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