ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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