Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
