Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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