He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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