Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
