Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
