Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
