In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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