Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize