Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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