we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
