well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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