I can text with my tongue
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
