yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
