just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
