He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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