Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
