she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
