I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
