I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
