hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
