so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
