i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am mentally ready for anal.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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