There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
