The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
