Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize