OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
