Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
