the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize