dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
