They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
