i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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