is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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