he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
