direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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