Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
