i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
