i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
