You smell like a Billy Joel song
I am spending my child support on dildos
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
