oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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