***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
