Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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