Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
