You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
