i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
