She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize