Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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