take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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