I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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