Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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