Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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