You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
