Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize