Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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