Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
