actually, I'm a sock model
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
