Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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