Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
