Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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