Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
