Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
