erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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