The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
