So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
