What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
