I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
