He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
