there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
